If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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