Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize