i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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