Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
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