hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
