Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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