Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
