I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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