If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
