Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
