Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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