the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
now i know why i became what i already was.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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