Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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