I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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