was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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