Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
