Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
