Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
