Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
