is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
