Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
