you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
