Sry I called you an 8
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
My balls are so social today.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
