Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
My cat gives me a boner
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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