I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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