I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
