I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
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