Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
