Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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