too bad you live with your parents still
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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