Dual....:-)
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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