I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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