So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
