I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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