I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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