He had one of those small greek statue penises
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
