would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
