yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
