You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
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The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
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Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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