Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
