k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
