worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize