I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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