i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
where am i from again
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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