I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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