I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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