I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
