Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
