Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
