the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
