apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
