I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
