i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
