We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
