Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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