Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
