is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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