i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
